She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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