We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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