Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
