i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
