its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
