Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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