I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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