I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
