all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
