whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
