you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
