I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
