I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
