Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?

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(415): View more from California

JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP

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(708): View more from Illinois

I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza

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(702): View more from Nevada

Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

Yeah, but four times?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?

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(618): View more from Illinois

we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning

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(757): View more from Virginia

She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up

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(415): View more from California

i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good

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