I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My brain says no but my pants say off.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
