I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
