Welp...herpes.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
