Whod you bang
I didn't shave. On purpose
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
