You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
