you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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