i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
