I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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