I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
