I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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