i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
