okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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