it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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