we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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