know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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