Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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