i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
