so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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