I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
