What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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