did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
