I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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