I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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