worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
