Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize