did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
