I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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