Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize