NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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