would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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