omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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