"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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