And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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