I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
