your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
