Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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