he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
