You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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