Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm both gender and math confused
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
