I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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