The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
