Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize