..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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