the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
