i would punch a child for taco bell
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
