He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize