shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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