And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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