Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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