i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
