1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Ketchup is God's man juice
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
